So, you want to be a teeny bopper aka the TB? In order to become a 100% teeny bopper, you must follow these steps:
You must have extremely short layers on your hair so you can look like a feather duster.
You have to wear eyeliner and a lot of make-up. Make sure your foundation doesn’t match your neck so can look like you’re wearing a mask. You must also have foundation coloured lips.
Your fringe has to start from the side of your head so it looks like a comb over.
You must take a lot of photos of yourself with the ‘f*** you’ peace sign showing. Try angeling your camera from the top of your head downwards so you can look even more teeny bopper. Pout your lips in every photo.
Take a lot of full body mirror shots with your , so you can show everyone on Bebo and MySpace what a hot bitch you are. Scribble out your cleavage because you’ll look like an innocent little slut that way.
Your outfit must consist of stockings or high socks under shorts. Wear a novelty T-shirt on top and you’re half way there to being a TB!
Wear those nerd glasses everywhere you go and better yet, wear the 3D glasses you get for free when you watch a movie.
Wear a massive bow so you look cutsie wootsie.
Take a Country Road bag everywhere you go. You bought it just because your friends did, so you might as well use it.
Whenever you go out to the shops with your other TB friends, wear heels just because you can. You want to look like a fully sick bitch. When you get to the shopping center, hang out with your friends in front of Playtime on Level 1 for seven hours.
When you see other girls, you must always grease them off. Again, you do this just because you can.
Your volcabulary must consist of words (in a high-pitched voice) such as ‘cunt’, ’full’, ‘what the fuck’, ‘oh my God you’re such a slut but I love you bitch. We’re so totally going to get wasted this Tuesday night like omg let’s post photos of us with bottles in our hands when we’re at this fully sick rave part like omg’ and other annoying words.
Take photos of yourself with alcohol in your hands. Post the photos on MySpace and Bebo and when someone comments on it saying: ”omg ur such a wasted ho wit d4t drink in ur hand omg xx”, you reply: “thatz n0t mii drink :P:P:PPP!!! xoxo luv u babe”.
You’re on MSN every night talking to your friends about boys and the hardcore rave party coming up this Saturday night. You tell your friends that your fully sick lover boy will be there and you guys are going to hook up like 12301203 times.
Your typing language must be extremely TB. That means writing like this: “oMg b4b3z wUt U d0iiN 2n!t3 ??~” and so on and so forth.
You must be able to shuffle and enjoy rave parties with your other TB friends.
House and techno is your favourite type of music.
After school everyday, you go to drink Bubblecup with your friends.
…and lastly, but not least, the most important step of all: